


"Stay"

by mscliffoxyd



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depressive, M/M, Oneshot, Sad, added, i cant write, it was unnecessary, larry - Freeform, omfg dont judge me, please dont cry omfg, read the original one first, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:48:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1362910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscliffoxyd/pseuds/mscliffoxyd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn never had been the weak one.</p>
<p>In which Zayn and Louis help each other getting through their worst parts of life and try to find the spark at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Obviously a background story to "Battlefield" by my best friend {blueeyedmonster} (u MUST read it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1305118 ) - this plays after the break-up but obviously before Louis´ death.</p>
<p>Song is "Stay" by Rihanna.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Stay"

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Battlefield](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1305118) by [blueeyedmonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueeyedmonster/pseuds/blueeyedmonster). 



"All along there was a fever, a cold sweat hot-headed believer."

 

Zayn had never been the weak one.

He always had been the boy who was forgetting every single negatives aspect of his life just to fight for the others. He hated seeing his friends suffer or cry, his instincts pushed him to them and let him take all his power to make them happy again. It was an urge, he couldn't see them in pain and just DONT do anything.

 

"Round and around and around and around it goes"

 

His own problems mostly were hidden in silence. He didn't want all the attention on him, He didn't want any attention at all. Zayn couldn't deal with people caring for him like he was sick, looking at him with sad or loving eyes, cause it made him weak. And Zayn hated being weak. He preferred hiding up and taking his time to deal with his self-confidence-problems, cause he was sure that nobody could help him with these.

Nobody ever got this near, seeing let him being weak without hiding; no one in a lifetime, except of Louis Tomlinson.  
This boy just pushed his way through Zayn's walls to see him cry in pain, see him staring at the mirror in disgust, and who slowly got the allowance to help his friend getting through it. Since Louis got this close, it got better.

 

"Now, tell me now tell me now you know"

 

Zayn stopped cutting, started eating again. Louis helped him looking at himself in the mirror with a little less hate, sometimes being content with what he saw.

And as their friendship grew into these close parts in which the one trusted the other with all his heart, and they told each other nearly everything, Zayn and Louis discovered that they fit into each other perfectly. At the beginning it was just Louis getting closer to Zayn, breaking through his walls and then coming up with those crazy ideas how to make his best friend feel loved and beautiful, how to show him how perfect he was. He was always there making Zayn laugh, taking care of him and being there in all the dark moments when he just couldn't stand looking at himself anymore, breaking down and collapse. Then Louis was there, holding him and murmuring soft words into his ear, making him coffee and cuddling him in until he felt better. Louis succeeded in leading his best friend into a hopeful direction, where he could slowly see that he wasn't a monster and that there were a lot of things about himself he could accept, maybe love. He learned so much through Louis.  
Life went on, Zayn getting better through concentrating on his exams, studying more than before. Also there were a lot of rehearsals to be made, and it got all a whole bit of stressful.

In the middle of all this, Louis fell in love with Harry, and obviously it was in return. Zayn was the one making tea while Louis laid spread out on his bed, babbling about those brown curls, the green eyes and those dimples, how soft his lips would taste, and so on. Zayn was happy, so happy that his best friend was in such a good state of his life, being in love all over, walking around with a big smile on his face, which couldn't be torn away by anything possible. Zayn loved seeing him like this, cause it made him so happy and content, forgetting about everything.

 

"Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move"

 

But soon it went into a completely wrong direction. Harry seemed to neglect Louis through seeing new friends, he began letting his boyfriend fall and didn't really look after him. Zayn didn't know much, Louis went all silent, not really talking anymore. As what he knew, Harry was out with Nick and Gemma all the time, and never found time to see his boyfriend. Plus, Louis got problems with his family, also in school, and it all was just too much for him. Within a few weeks, he changed from the cheeky, loud lad, who always laughed and made everyone happy, into a silent Louis with widened eyes, who stopped talking to his best friend and rarely connected to anyone.

And Zayn couldn't do anything. He watched, his friend closing himself up, and nobody doing something against it. He tried to talk to him, but failed, tried to get into him, unsuccessful.

 

"Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way"

 

Whilst watching, he noticed red lines appearing on Louis' body, some of them sneaking out his shirt or glancing out when the small boy reached for something and revealed a thin stripe of skin.  
Zayn noticed the sneaks to the toilet after every meal Louis had, hearing the throwing up sounds, mixed with sobs and desperate cries, when he silently followed him. The closest he ever got was holding his best friend after it, letting him sob into his shoulder while drawing circles onto his back helplessly.  
Zayn noticed the sleepiness in Louis' eyes and discovered that the older boy refused to get any sleep, making himself weaker than he was.  
Zayn also noticed that Louis have up in Harry, completely. He saw all the strength leaving his friend, and this was what made him upset.

 

"I want you to stay"

 

One day, Louis had a sleepover at Zayns which wasn't like their normal ones at all, Zayn took his hands and started to talk. He told him everything he noticed, looked deeply into Louis' eyes and finally asked for entrance. Asked, if he could help him. Cause he needed to. And after Louis cried his eyes out, he agreed.

 

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving"

 

Since then, Zayn settled his whole life on helping Louis. He needed his best friend to get better, it hurt him so much to see him like this.  
He drew butterflies and heart on Louis' wrists, reminding him of how much it hurt him when he hurt his skin.  
He bought him chocolate, making sure he would eat it, and keeping it in.  
He spent a week at Louis', keeping an eye over his sleep, bringing him to bed and cuddling him in.  
And he started to convince him to fight for Harry. They started making plans, discussing the people stealing Harry away from his boyfriend, or just laughed about how senseless the situation was.  
It got better.

 

"Cause when you never see the light, it's hard to know which one of us is caving"

 

Until Zayn woke up one night. Alone.  
Suddenly, everything was still. Nothing mattered. And slowly, very slowly, he realized he forgot about himself. The whole time nobody cared for him, Cause he forgot it. He totally forgot himself in this storm.  
This was the night he broke down. He was weak, so weak. He spent all his strenght, hadn't any left to make sure he was okay too. All the thoughts came back, surrounding him like a bunch of bees, making him curl into a ball and crie out. He couldn't do it anymore.  
He succeed in covering it up, still focusing on Louis, not telling anyone that it was too much.

Every day started with Zayn on his knees, in front of his mirror, crying until he couldn't see his reflection through the tears anymore. He spent hours in his closet, finding desperately stuff he could wear, stuff in which he felt comfortable, just to curl his arms around his thighs the complete day, trying to cover everything up.  
He stopped going swimming, trying to wear as much clothes as possible to not be forced to see himself naked, a picture he hated through all his veins.

He caught himself staring at other people, comparing himself with their bodies, not able to stop it. It was nearly the same as before Louis came into his life. But.., he couldn't ask him for help. The problem was, zayn knew it was wrong but he couldn't help it, that it was so much more important for him to see Louis okay, instead of making him extra worried about himself. So he kept it all by himself, trying to stand through it. A part he could, really, make on his own. HE always did, he was strong. He was able to take care of himself. But it silenty broke him apart.

 

"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone"

 

After a while, how could he known. Louis noticed.  
A little bit of old Louis returned (maybe it was bad fortune) and took care of Zayn. They spent their nights together with changing who was cuddled in, making the wage slowly getting equal. They needed each other to go on, to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes both were weak. So Zayn didn't find any words to calm his best friend, didn't had the strength to talk the thoughts out of his head, cause he had them too. Louis couldnt start to shout at Zayn, slapping him with pillows and trying to make him see how amazing he was, cause he had No strength at all. In these times they just wrapped their arms around each other, holding the other one tight, until they both drifted off to sleep, forgetting their troubles.

But some things were unspoken, hidden between the two of them. Zayn didn't know if Louis knew that he noticed the blades in his back pocket, seeing him searching the toilet in the middle of classes, seeing the stripes of blood through his jeans. He knew that Louis was addicted, but he kept silent about that, not wanting to make it worse.

Zayn for himself couldn't tell Lou that he thought about it as well. Going back to cutting, giving in. He was too strong to, though, but he wasn't sure what he was able to though his breakdowns in the middle of the night, spinning head and shivering bones. It would make a lot of things a little bit easier to stand through. But he didn't gave it, seeing Louis like this every day, just don't wanting it at all.

 

"I want you to stay"

 

Louis and Zayn went on, standing through their sleepless nights, their fears, bolding each other up, giving each other strength and love. They were sure to make it like this, holding on and just not dying. They would do it, hand in hand, facing the light in the tunnel, getting through the dark with a tight grip on reality.

"STAY"

**Author's Note:**

> so this was again really short and i´m sorry i just was in the mood of adding this thingy to the longer thingy of my bestie cause it just fit, and idek.  
> make sure to read hers, ya? :)) ENDLESS LOVE <3
> 
> nikey


End file.
